.kufu.

dah lama tak rasa macam ni. is taraf or kufu still relevant in nowadays? tapi, cuba bayangkan kalau kau tak punya apa2, mereka mahu kan kau ke kau rasa? tak ada apa2 tu maksudnya you have nothing. nothing yang setaraf dengan mereka. rasa macam ni yang buat aku sedih. memang itu bukan pilihan atau benda yang boleh dipaksa. but, family still family. kau tak boleh campak tepi. mungkin kau tak ada masalah. tapi, hidup ni bukan kau sorang punya. lama itu bukan pasport untuk lepas segalanya. pasport itu kau dengan dia. bukan mereka. I'm not saying this because i regret born in family biasa. no such things. mungkin aku salah pilih jalan. mungkin ini mimpi. masih ada chance ke aku start over?



sad. sad.sad. peluang utk balik mcm da hilang. isk.

.love the way you lie.

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before i'm about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down

Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie


*eminem & rihanna

susah juga kalau terlalu lama. sampai imun kan.
minta jauh lah benda2 yg tak mahu. jgn fikir.

.bad.

bukan benci-lah. tapi nak buat macam mana. tak boleh juga. jangan cakap saya tak pernah cuba. tapi, kamu tolong-lah cuba sekali. saya pun tahu penat. tahu malu. dah kamu roll eyes. takkan saya nak terkedek-kedek kejar. terkedek-kedek layan macam biasa. ish. itu bukan saya. maaf-lah!



mahu lari dari diri sendiri. walau cuma sehari. sejam pun boleh juga.

.sherlock holmes.

penat-lah. letih nak ignore kamu. tapi, ada masa sy x boleh tahan. macam kamu tak tahan bau bundle. macam kamu tak tahan rumah bersepah. saya dah tak tahu nak buat macam mana. kamu mesti sedar my acts towards you. tapi, masih macam tu juga. mungkin kamu ignore saya balik. buat2 tak layan. hakikat, kamu masih sibuk2 hal saya bukan? jadi diri sendiri la. jgn saya begitu, kamu nak begitu juga. grown up la dude! dan tolong-lah jangan over excited over mens. saya tak paham sgt. mens memang layan baik semua perempuan. esp. mens dari certain negeri. jangan-lah *maaf perasan lebih. now, baru sy faham what he meant by manja. malas pun bertempat-lah. at least budi bahasa la. haih. merungut. complaint. learn to let go la aisyah. kenapa susah sgt ni. susah bila dah cop seseorang dengan certain attitude. mmg sgt susah nak ubah. and will be not forever. saya dah penat fake ni. bila nak jadi aisyah yang dia mahu?i still dont know.


mungkin kamu perlu lemon dan iron.

.tumble down thinking.

there are times when I don't even understand myself.

might be I lost it when searching for things I don't even want or worse, things I don't even know .
I don't know which is worse.

can you help me?

.do you feel the same thing?.

can't help it.
it happen over n over again.


i fall in love with you. again.
it's ok if u dont.

.pissed.

did i do the right thing?



i dont have words to say to u. i dont have anything to offer.
i didnt think bout u. i never ask coz i thought u nvr care.
plz. n sorry. deeply sorry. even i know, sorry was nvr enough.
i'll try. stop the impossible thinking.

.potatoes.

there's limit in every single hurting you did.


sorry wasn't enough to forget everything.


you said what you want. but never care the after effect right?

.1.2.3.4.5.6.

no words could describe the feelings. sebenarnya ada. tapi tidak mahu cliche. dia memang milik kau. kau suka bila dia ada. bila dia senyum. bila dia gelak gembira. malah, kau suka bila dia frowned. itu makna semua apa yang dia rasa, kau punya. kau memang tamak bukan? mahu semua apa-apa yang dia ada, mahu itu semua jadi milik kau. tidak mahu dia ke sana, sini. tidak mahu dia jumpa siapa-siapa yang bukan halnya degan kau. kau possessive. mahu semua dia milik kau. (cuba jangan baca secara kasar, diktaktor. baca dengan lembut. pasti bawa maksud lain.) kau sendiri, tapi mahu dia teman. even, jauh berbatu, melangkau tanah seberang. kau jadi dingin bila dipinggir. bukan maksud kau mahu dia sentiasa menyatakan keberadaannya. cukup dengan sentiasa ada. kau sedar dia tak mahu jauh. tapi, ego kau yang tidak mahu jasad dekat. kau takut bukan? kau takut dengan hampir bisa bibitkan rasa bosan. kau sedar bukan selama 5 tahun, jauh itu perkara biasa. kau takut hadapi kemungkinan yang kau dipinggir walau dekat. kau takut kau tak mampu fill the space yang sudah kecil itu. nanti kau tiada alasan lagi. cukuplah kau guna jauh sebagai kambing hitam. sudah-sudah lah.


bakal tahun ke-6. larat lagi ke engkau?

.kenapa kamu ada?.

"kenapa kamu ada?"

kenapa dan bagaimana kamu boleh tanya soalan ini? aku ni a serious everything. mudah fikir bukan2. tanya tu biar jelas. siapa kamu yg bertanya pun aku tidak tahu. lagi, soalan kamu itu mcm mempersoalkan kuasa tuhan, mahu tahu kenapa aku ada. ada aku ganggu hidup kamu? ada aku rosakkan jiwa kamu? ada aku musnahkan harapan kamu? benar? sila tampil. senyap2 pun tak apa. asal ada identiti. boleh aku faham apa maksud kamu. aku boleh faham kias jika aku tahu siapa kamu.

sekian. terima kasih.


*soalan formspring.

.entah.

tak semua aku boleh tulis sini. bukan sebab takut orang baca (xde sapa baca des oi). tapi, memang bukan mahu kongsi.mahu simpan sendiri. mungkin aku tulis tempat lain. siapa tahu kan?


dia sudah pergi. kering.

.bye.

You’re not gonna promise to each other that u will not disappoint one another,because at some point u will.What is important is you don’t go away,u don’t escape,u don’t leave one another just because u were disappointed.That’s the meaning of FIDELITY

*copied it somewhere.

rasa kosong. jauh.

.pandan.

kau tahu kan tiada apa yang boleh ubah
cara mana pun kau bagi
begitu juga akhirnya
balik2 skrip yg ada dalam kepala kau juga yg diulang
terima sajalah des.

redha.



besar => kecil.
jauh => dekat.
senang => susah?
susah => senang?
keliru.

.single minded, diversed feelings.

forget the hopes

and this time,
for real.

sad.






tired.