.pintu.

kenapa mesti ketuk-ketuk kalau tak mahu masuk?
sah-sah lah nak main bukan?

yang di tingkap itu pun kenapa jengah-jengah minta buka?
sah-sah lah nak menyindir bukan?

tapi, mangga itu masih lekat.
roboh pun pintu itu, bukan kamu dapat masuk.
sia-sia saja.

dah.
pergi main jauh-jauh.


cepat kira. berastagi. holland. german. kelantan. ok. cukup-lah.

.#tls.

If someone doesn't fill you up as you do them, chances are they never will. Love is not selfish. It makes you feel better, not worse. #TLS

Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having. #TLS

You can't force people to stay in your life. Staying is a choice, so be thankful for people who choose you. #TLS

.to the moon & back.

be it first or last, i have never and ever _______ you.

i'm not the one to judge. i'm the one to decide. 

so, stand straight and march forward!

.tango si hati.

semua benda bukan mudah. dah tak ada yang senang sekarang. the more you try, the harder it gets.


aku jarang nak rasa regret-menyesal. sebab aku tahu bila keputusan yang aku buat akan affect everything kalau aku berubah fikiran. by the time I decided, I won't look back. kalau aku sahaja yang terkesan, tak mengapa. tapi, yang lain? memang kena selfish. jangan fikir masalah orang lain. betul. sebab aku akan jadi kasihan. lembut hati tak nampak dek orang lain. aku tak tau kenapa aku tulis ini semua. semua orang memang akan rasa begini (kalau tiada, tak tahu lah). lama dah kamu simpan aku. mungkin prototype aku sekarang ini belum cukup untuk kamu tayang pada semua. mungkin itu yang terbaik. kalau pegang pada hati, lama2 boleh gila. 


aku cuba. cuma belum sampai masa lagi untuk aku pulang. sekarang bila aku pulang for good, apa lagi yang tinggal? suatu yang aku mahu simpan dalam lampu genie sampai bila2. sebab kalau ia nyata depan ramai, luka akan tambah parah. bukan aku sahaja, semua akan terkesan. itu aku tidak mahu. cukuplah aku seorang rasa pedih. aku tak mahu zalimi orang. trust yang aku beri masih aku tidak erti ada digunapakai atau sudah ke longkang. aku dah penat kutip. aku dah penat tampal. mungkin bukan aku seorang yang cuba. tapi, aku tidak nampak yang lain. i don't have dreams. i'm afraid to. that's why i just grab the chances offered to me. aku bukan tamak. aku takut tak akan ada lagi peluang untuk aku. sebab aku pernah tunggu. sampai ke sudah munculnya tidak. aku tiada dendam. tapi, untuk mula semula, aku tak pasti.  


a truth will hurts you. but, that's good. at least you know your heart is functional.  

.pink daisy.

nak buat entry panjang, tapi terlebih rajin. jadi, ini summary cuti seminggu yang lepas.

.kkia-klia-nilai-jb-rengit-semenyih-kajang-subang-tg. malim-putrajaya-rawang-shah alam-klia-kkia.

arrival.dinner at nilai.shoot to jb.wedding in benut.

.shoot to semenyih.*bah.

.breakfast in bangi.shoot to kajang.tuition driver.

.subang.*formal stuff.bangi-tengok katil.make new friends.dinner po'sen kajang.

.roadtrip to mai farm tg malim.turkeys,kelapa,memancing,hujan lebat,lunch best.

.dinner at putrajaya.*silence.

.subang again.*formal again.friday shopping.

.wedding amanda.serdang-rawang-shah alam.singgah S.A semata2 ABC.

.quality time with the family.ahad,putrajaya again.seabass.red velvet n chocolate cake.

.klia.pink gerbera daisy.departure.

.kkia.sleep.

taksusahnakhappy.nakatautaknakterpulangpadakita.kalaukaudahsenyum,akutumpangsama.yanglepastumungkinsatuingatan.atauphasebuatkitasedar.

.terimakasih.

.janji. ini yang terakhir aku bicara kamu.

sometimes it does not only hurts,

it’s bleeding.

from the same scar.

reality not only bites.

it kills.

dah. ini akhir. tak ada lagi yang tinggal. kosong, ok?  i am happy now.

.kecut or kerachut?.

you didn't notice when you changed. people noticed it. and by the time you realize, it might be too late. but, you can always come back. it might be different. and you can't expect the same settings, peoples, properties around you. they are changing too. 


deep down, every human being wants to be in their comfortable zone forever. 


i am just normal. i don't hold grudge for a long time. normal people changed. normal people nervous. normal people made mistakes. and other normal people should understand. 


they forgive.  


gali-lah sedalam mana.kalau aku tak mahu beri memang itu sebab aku tak mahu. rahsia tetap rahsia. 

.nak tulis panjang2 pasal cuti. tapi, no internet kat ofis. ;(

I GOTTA BE ME.   - AIO,2011

I was deep in thought as I walked down the office corridors the other day. So deep in thought that I didn’t notice an employee of mine nearby. That is, until I heard her say, “Boss, you don’t look like the boss I know.” She was beckoning to the clothes that I was wearing.

I stopped and looked at myself. I was wearing black dress pants, a blue shirt and a blue tie. I looked like I just stepped out from a boring board meeting about financial statements. Then I realised, I DID just stepped out from a boring board meeting about financial statements. And the way I dressed, I looked just like one of those corporate guys.

It was a far cry from what my employee was used to. She usually sees me wearing t-shirt and jeans.

I tried sheepishly to offer an explanation. “I had a formal meeting where I had to meet some government agency to discuss about some cheque-giving and after that I had a board meeting then....” I stopped myself when I saw my staff look at me with a sure-you-do look.

What happened? How did this happen? How did I go from wearing whatever I liked to wearing some non-descript black pants, blue shirt and blue tie?

I straightened up, glad to be reminded that I gotta be me. I don’t need to gain approval from anybody. I don’t need to conform. I am on a mission to change them. But instead they are changing me!

I gotta be me! I gotta be me! I gotta be......oh crap I got another board meeting in 10 minutes! How am I gonna be me?!!!!

- from a genius man. i stalk him because of his looks. but, he's got more than that. and it's called the BRAIN!! - ahmad izham omar

.four colours of roses.

masalah memang tak pernah habis kan? satu-satu datang. serabut2 pun ada juga yang buat aku happy. tak perlu minta, tak perlu rancang. pandai datang sendiri. kalau dulu rancanglah berbulan2 pun belum tentu aku happy. i am not comparing(mind you). memang susah nak lupa. kamu basuhlah pakai clorox sekalipun, belum tentu hilang. jadi, bila aku tanya baik2, kamu tak mahu jawab. aku dalam phase nak pilih jalan. kalau ada yang belum kamu habis kata, sila habiskan. tak mahu jadi kejam. mana mungkin memories aku bisa buang dalam tong sampah. bisa tekan shift+delete. tidak. jadi, minta aku kata2 akhir dari kamu (jika ada). 

malam tadi jalan tepi tasik. nampak lampu2 kecil. tetiba, dapat spotlight. jadi, mana mahu ikut? 
p/s: oh, mahu cari rumah@bilik sewa around usj1 subang. anyone? 

.roadtrip.

Just came back from Mai Farm at Tanjung Malim. first time went there. 140 acres of land. fish pond, turkeys, ayam selasih, kelapa matak, kelapa pandan, shepherd dog, greenery, rains.
Roadtrip yang tak akan lupa. will update the pictures later. oh, dapat bawa balik jambu, kelapa pandan & ayam selasih.  ;)


 dapat jalan baru. tapi, liku2. mahu cuba atau play safe?