.india mari.

i need funds!  Kerala or Goa. please! 


had breakfast with someone who gave me a piece of peace and lil' laugh. we can plan. we can predict. we can try to execute. 
but, it all depends on Allah's will. family is the best cure. well, mum is. (even they can't stop whining). 
 keep on walking. keep on planning. don't ever give up. 


life is art. be a great artist. 
you may have the most awesome masterpiece. 
but, it will never be enough..  

 patut or tidak minta hutang? 

.i see rainbows. but, it doesn't reach you.

forgiveness?

what's the point? nada. zero.

yes. i am bitter. i am arrogant.
i am everything worst you ever met.

to forgive?

for what? so you can do it over and over again?

for me to shut my eyes not to see everything?

maybe i'm blind. maybe i'm stupid. but, i have heart.

for it to be crushed again is not the experience i dream of.

maybe it's not to late for everything.

yes, I WILL SHUT EVERYTHING OFF. 

you have your last chance. and you didn't take it.

so long.

family is the best cure.

.raksa rasaksa.

mudah pecah.

Sakit paling severe,
adalah bila kau sendiri tak tahu yang kau sedang menusukku.

atau, aku sendiri yang 'mudah pecah'.




sungguh. visual banyak bantu fahamkan orang lain. berilah sepanjang mana pun ayat sastera. gambar pegun itu juga yang lebih mudah faham.
oh, tajuk post adalah blog yang saya suka. khas untuk orang2 'emo' sahaja.

.tini-conteng lagi. dan lagi.

Topeng

Dengan aku
kau pakai topeng ungu
sebab kau tahu
aku benci merah jambu

Dengan aku
kau kata suka ungu
walau aku tau
kau cinta merah jambu

Dengan dia-dia
kau pakai topeng kelabu
sebab kata mereka
pondan saja gila merah jambu

Dengan dia-dia
kau kata benci merah jambu
walau kau tahu
kelabu lebih kusam berdebu

Dalam diam-diam
kau sarung topeng merah jambu
dengan siapa aku tak tahu
yang penting bukan dengan dia-dia dan aku

Dalam diam-diam
Kau tulis tentang aku
yang punya topeng merah jambu

Dalam diam-diam
Kau juih bibir kamu
Di balik topeng merah jambu itu.

diam-diam itu bahaya. simpan lama-lama boleh mati. jadi, lebih baik kamu bold. supaya dia sedar. main-main atau serius memang masa yang tentu. bertahun sekalipun belum cukup faham luar dan dalam. mahu lepas senang. tapi, perit yang tinggal kadang buat kamu lebih rela sengsara genggaman.  "please jangan avoid." tapi, sekarang siapa yang bisu?

.kickstart.

Q : Ada dua jalan. Satu, pernah lalu dulu. Banyak dah arca ada situ. 
      Dua, masih samar boleh lalu atau tidak. Tapi, sana ada banyak 'art'. 
      Jadi?
A : Don't be stuck up.Try explore something new. Choose 'art'. Choose 'art'.


thank you friend. i wish you 'cepat kawen'. hahahahahaha.

.bergadai sia.

baru sedar? kelakar. tak susah rupanya nak set boundaries. dari awal kau main redah, memanglah akhir nanti bila dah jatuh, baru kau tahu. ya, mungkin bukan favor semua orang. tapi, tak fake (mungkin). jadi, janganlah angkuh mendongak sampai jalan pun kau kabur. ya, jangan kau lagak seperti kapal membelah laut. sedangkan, arah kemana kau lupa. 

IGNORANT!


no more place for me membebel anymore. :(

.day 14 - TV show i'm currently addicted to.

bones! serious. funny. informative. drama.

enough said.

p/s: ada lagi. burnt notice, HIMYM, SVU, criminal minds,csi, chef at home,DC cupcakes, .................. ok. banyak lagi.

.day 13 - a picture of your favorite band or artist.

boleh letak gambar yuna tak? playlist paling banyak lagu dia. 

start dari zaman lagu rocket, backpacking to europe sampai la penakut. lagu yuna memang layan la.  

saya sangat penat..

P.E.N.A.T.

penat main tarik tali. penat main2 perasaan. penat.

.day 12 - current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

how come there is this one awkward question meh? don't want to talk about it. but, anyway. here's my view.


single : can do whatever you like. no restriction(except from family). doesn't need to think about others. you can flirt all the way without feeling guilty. 
double : you have someone to think about. you have someone to turn to. gave you support even when it is the last thing you needed. you have someone you can be silly with. 


there's more. endless list. for both la of course. i like a quote from hanis zalikha. she said, "have you ever wondered if maybe you don't really miss the person, you just miss the routine."  hmmm. could be. who knows what we really feel, right?

.day 11 - a picture of my favorite memory.

Buat tak nampak la orang dalam gambar ni. I was at LS301 Kota Marudu. 

It was quite cold. in 5 minutes, the peak behind me was covered by clouds. 

First time betul2 involve in fieldwork. Tapi, ini pun tak kira mencabar sangat. 

There's always next time, I guess.


p/s: excuse me for the pose.ahaha

.shutting down.

berdirilah.
tegak atau pincang. itu mahu kamu.
berbunyilah.
lantang atau sinis. itu mahu kamu.

tapi, ingat.
gula-gula yang diberi itu tak selalu manis.
peria yang diberi itu tak selalu pahit.
sedarlah.
cuba faham whole situation.


لاَّ يُحِبُّ اللّهُ الۡجَهۡرَ بِالسُّوَءِ مِنَ الۡقَوۡلِ إِلاَّ مَن ظُلِمَ وَكَانَ اللّهُ سَمِيعًا عَلِيمًا
AnNisaa 148

Allah tidak suka kepada perkataan-perkataan buruk yang dikatakan dengan berterus-terang (untuk mendedahkan kejahatan orang); kecuali oleh orang yang dianiayakan. Dan (ingatlah) Allah sentiasa Mendengar, lagi Maha Mengetahui.

.hari ini bila-bila.

senang bukan kalau terlalu mudah memberi?
hulur saja. selagi ada dalam tangan, selagi itu tak pernah berhenti.

HARI INI BILA BILA

Tuhan, daratkan aku ke bumi
pancing aku dari bulan
tarik aku tembus awan

Hentakkan kepalaku ke dinding
buka tingkap biar silau
sergah ku dari mengigau

Pijak tubuhku – tertiarap
cium tanah, cium tanah
hulur wajahku ke cermin
tenung tenung, fikir fikir

Empunya refleksi, sedarlah
engkau pencinta rahsia
hari ini, selamanya

Kalaupun engkau berdua
hatimu engkau yang punya
dia tidak mungkin tahu
sedalam mana rasamu

Semuanya metafora
“hatiku dicuri dia”
sedangkan setiap sakit
engkau seorang menangis

Empunya refleksi, sedarlah
kita pencinta rahsia
hari ini, bila bila

Pijak tubuhku – tertiarap
cium tanah, cium tanah
hulur wajahku ke cermin
tenung tenung, fikir fikir

Empunya refleksi, sedarlah
engkau pencinta rahsia
hari ini, selamanya

Tuhan, daratkan aku ke bumi
pancing aku dari bulan
tarik aku tembus awan

lagu asal ada di sisi. sila tekan play.

.not your type of girl.

a song was made so that people can enjoy the music and listen carefully to the lyrics. so, look up for this gadis semasa lyric. you will find anything exist for some reasons-double meaning. there is nothing such as direct meaning. 

everything happen for a reason. 

.day 10 - photo of my favorite place to eat.

BBQ at the beach! 

macam2 perangai boleh tengok. lucu. tamak. tiada yang fake. 

.gutten morgen.

"Fallen flower can't climb back. So, don't think about the past. Love the present. Live for the future, with a beautiful sweet smile.." 

dancing in the rain. look forward for the future. look brightly.  there's light at the end of every gloomy tunnel. ;)

.day 9 – photo of the item last purchased.

hehe. beli2.

.day 8 - my dream wedding.

hmmm... let me think.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
can't think of anything. wish for a very simple one.
and i want everyone to come!

everyone will get married by the end of this year. banyak betul duit. ish.

.day 7 - A photo of an animal i’d love to keep as a pet.

source

maybe. one day. tapi, rasa baru berapa hari letak dalam cage, saya akan let go.

 biar bebas. tak sampai hati. T_T

-day 6 - a song that match my mood.

i have no mood at all. 

.last slice.

kadang bila selesa, rasa akan mati. dulu pernah percaya, tak mesti ada atas. bawah pun perlu kau jejak. sekarang, rasa rugi tak mahu ada di atas lama2. sebab bila kau dah jatuh, itu yang kau mahu. atas sana. senyum selalu. tak fikir yang lain. yang boleh bunuh apa2 rasa. tak peduli apa jadi. tamak dalam segala. sekarang, bila semua tak ada, apa lagi yang kau mahu? apa lagi yang kau boleh own? nothing. begging? no, you won't. cuma yang tinggal luka yang pedih. 




memang rasa macam tengah makan gula2 yang sedap tiba2 tertelan, tercekik. padahal gula2 tu masih banyak lagi belum kau habis rasa. 

.day 5 - what makes me different from anyone else?.

the mask. or topeng in malay.
everyone has it. every human being on earth.
the only different is the color.
black, white, colorful, or maybe fuchsia.
only colors differ us.


sebaik atau sejahat mana kamu, kamu sendiri yang akan terima balasnya.

.day 4 - photograph of my best friend.

aci tak letak gambar ni? haha.

the bad friend. the stubborn friend. the laser friend.

she's all the bad things i have ever encounter.

tapi, saya sayaaaaaaang dia.

you are the best, lil sister.

.day 3 - a perfect first date.

I don't have one. A perfect first date only exist in fairytale.
Mostly, what peoples will have in mind about the perfect first date are flowers, movies, beach, ice-cream, candlelight dinner or bla bla bla romantic stuff.


Reality is, it could be anything. 
Even if you have to wait 1/2 hour for your date to arrive. 
Even if you have to sweat in no-air-conditioning-bus. 
Even if you don't have anything to say.
Even if you are not in your best clothes. 
No one can tell you it is perfect if you don't feel it yourself. 


So, theater anyone?

.fynn jamal - suatu pernah.

akan suatu yang tak pernah. 

biar terleburhancur. berkecaisepai. terpecahbelah.

akhirnya begitu juga.

akan sesuatu yang tak pernah.

tak pernah menyesal.

.day 2 - favourite movie.

an old movie. loves the action and story. 

.day 1 - a favourite song.

I feel alive listening to this.

manusia takkan pernah berhenti mencari yang lebih baik bukan?

.a challenge to myself.

more to kill time actually. i have lotsa free time due to some reason. so, here we go :

30 days blogging challenge.

Day 1 — Your favorite song
Day 2 — Your favorite movie
Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Day 5 – What makes you different from everyone else?
Day 6 – A song to match your mood.
Day 7 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
Day 8 – Your dream wedding.
Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 – A photo of your favorite place to eat.
Day 11 – A picture of your favorite memory
Day 12 – Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Day 13 – A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Short term goals for this month and why
Day 17 – How you hope your future will be like.
Day 18 – 5 things that irritate ME about opposite/same sex
Day 19 – A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 – Who are you?
Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you want to go.
Day 27 – What kind of person attracts you?
Day 28 – In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days




and it starts tomorrow. 
;) 

.500 days of summer.

I am confused. seriously, what to believe? if it's true and sincere, tell me.

if it doesn't, just go.

one of the sweetest movie i've ever seen. truth doesnt always pleased you.

you don't live in fairytale. you just don't

and if it ends, you can just start a new one.

still, it's a fairytale.

.bitter.

be bitter. if that is what you want. tapi, bukan kau sorang saja boleh buat begitu.
karma babe. karma.
kalau kau ingat itu bukan salah kau, sila teruskan.
tengok lah nanti.

.lebih.

humaniti hilang. entah kemana. bila yang tinggal hanya selfish.
boleh kata peduli. boleh kata sayang. hakikat, sendiri saja yang tahu.
depan boleh pasang topeng. muka manusia.
bawah kulit, hodoh lagi dari jerangkung.
depan boleh kata baik. manis macam gula.
maksud hati, pahit macam hempedu.


depan memang lancar saja isi hati. 
bila buruk memang kata buruk.
bila puji memang tinggi sungguh prosa kata.
hanya sebab mahu teman. 
bila ada tak puas hati, tak mahu confront.
simpan sendiri sebab rasa sedar diri.
tapi, bila jadi sesuatu (ditinggalkan) mula ungkit.
mula marah2 pada yang lain.
salah kau juga kot.
masalah kau yang cari sendiri. 
please-lah.
bukan orang tak mahu tolong kau.
kau kan superwoman. semua boleh.




diam bila tak mahu. jadi kenapa bising2 sekarang? jangan ungkit bila yang lain ada apa kau tak ada.
apa ingat semua orang suka kalau diberi lebih dari orang lain? kau ingat dia suka? kau ingat dia senang dengan cakap2 belakang?

.a fluke.

A Fluke

First he passed by you
Then whistled the song of your childhood


The next thing you know, he took your breath away.

tini-conteng

.backpackers.

i wanna go travel! holland? germany? anywhere.

i need at least 6K. itu baru flight tix.  *_*
tapi, accomodation & transport dah ada.  ^_^

.crossed.

cross words. cross roads. cross destiny. cross heart. cross time.
everything crossed. and always at the wrong time.



"good morning angle"  wait, angle? I suppose you meant angel, right?  bwahahaha.
funny and full of tricks. try harder. 

.edited.

ok. you didn't push me. you just letting me go.

.hiking.

Put yourself in this situation. 


You are hiking up a mountain. a very steep one. spiky rocks. slippery tracks. 
the peak is where your dream home is.. or at least a home you will spend the rest of your time.
and someone stop you in the middle of the rough journey.
and that someone is the same one who push you down the previous mountain.
what will you do? or what will you say?




don't dig up. i've let go. u asked me to. don't give hopes. u've made the choice.  u think i could forget?  
nak saya ungkit? u dont like it. u hate it. 

.petals.

Aberasi -

Sore tadi 

kekasih gelap datang lagi,

mengetuk pintu

dan

menggoncang hati.

source

saya takde kekasih gelap. mungkin-lah. dapat surprise. call and roses. from 2 different person.weird. hmmm.

.hopes high.

hopes. payah nak faham. lagi-lagi kalau masalah hati. letak-lah setinggi mana harapan. karang-lah sedalam mana impian hidup. kalau tak jadi, sakit juga. 

semua orang dah arif . and how it can hurt innocents life.but , macam mana kita tahu pun, macam mana persediaan kita,when it hurts, still, nobody knows how to ease it. - lidah

jadi, kalau dah luka, dah sakit, kenapa masih mahu juga? boleh elak bukan? sanggup kamu carik hati yang lain? sanggup kamu rendahkan diri sendiri?  
kalau kamu mahu juga, terserah. tapi, buka mata. akal sekali. rasional pun rasional juga. itu takkan kemana kalau hati tak mahu. 




bukan hidup aku. kan senang kalau mudah jatuh cinta. 
i moved on. real-nya, aku sayang johor. jadi?