but, i'm not a fan of coffee.
29.4.11
.kebas.
puisi pinjam dari tuhan
sudah habis bahasa langit, yang tinggal cuma sedikit, tuhan, izinkan ku pinjam hartamu, mengalung agung memuji dia itu.
hujan, titahkan anak-anak anda menari bernyanyi di telinganya, pelangi, jadilah jubahnya dipakai, kasikan warnamu damai membelai.
sungai, semoga lalumu menghanyutkan tepat rasa lalai yang begitu menggian, kerikil, hembuskan gagahmu di hati, ajar kami bertekun dalam cinta ini.
terlalu berlambak terbazirkan habisan semua bahasa raga pada syaitan-syaitan, yang tersisa ini terlalu picis dan biasa, maka pejam matamu, tuhan sedang bantu saya.
suara hujan, pelangi, sungai dan kerikil sedang meluah bisu aku yang terkebil.
apa kau dengar? apa kau akan biar?
- fynn jamal.
ayat fynn memang tiada kaitan langsung dengan rasa aku. saja suka letak.
degup masih belum berhenti. macam kau pakai alat bantu nafas. kalau cabut, memang mati. hilang semua rasa. kebas pun tak ada.
sesak. bingung.
28.4.11
27.4.11
.read.
found it online. does not relate to anyone. yes, anyone. just want to share.
“Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”
................
“Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”
................
26.4.11
.go.
Temptation -
On your mark.
Get set.
Go.Get set.
be bitter is fine. be honest is fine. be yourself is the greatest.
just go if you can't accept. reality bebeh.
25.4.11
.juvana.
mode : jatuh cinta.
tak pernah ada minat jadi cikgu. tapi, kalau kat sekolah juvana ni ok. esok jugak saya start mengajar!
.tg aru bbq.
a day full of funs. from before the sun rises till the sun sets.
can't wait for the coming weekend.
23.4.11
.coffee? no, thanks.
sikit pasal sabar
Sabar ini mahal.
Perasaan dia macam meluap-luap dalam hati. kan?
Kadang-kadang kau pelik apesal kau sabar padahal kau boleh marah je.
Ia boleh jadi kerana bila kau hilang sabar meletupnya bukan main dasyat.
Atau mungkin kau sabar sebab bila kau marah, kau balik yang kena marah.
Perasaan dia macam meluap-luap dalam hati. kan?
Kadang-kadang kau pelik apesal kau sabar padahal kau boleh marah je.
Ia boleh jadi kerana bila kau hilang sabar meletupnya bukan main dasyat.
Atau mungkin kau sabar sebab bila kau marah, kau balik yang kena marah.
source
kadang kau bertanya, mengapa? sedang kau ada jawapannya. doing something is better than doing nothing, right?
monolog lebih buang masa, tapi, hidup monolog arah kamu lebih jelas. doing something unplanned is just as fun as doing something planned full of funs.
21.4.11
20.4.11
.untitled.
Kalau Tuhan tiba-tiba
bertanya untuk hari ini apa yang aku mau
di samping
segudang uang,memutar balik masa
dan senyuman Gaza
aku akan katakan dengan laju aku mahu
engkau rasa beban
semua kerikil yang dengan sengaja
engkau gores ke kulit jantungku.
19.4.11
.RT.
"If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you will miss finding someone who treats you like a priority"
- Syafy, 2011 (twitter)
.wee hours.
plain.dull as gray.sumpah bosan.hidup lagi segan jadi malu.
satu sudut toko buku.
aku sua lembar seni arkitektur.
kau kaku. masih ulit lembar potret bogel yang kau rasa seni itu.
aku sua lagi.
masih juga kaku. tanpa berpaling satu darjah sekalipun.
kadang rejection itu perlu.
sua selalu akan jadi virus.
bisa lumpuhkan seluruh sistem.
sudah backup?
susah jadi freewill ni. semua boleh.
18.4.11
.extra cast.
uhh, hello?
layaknya kamu harus beri aku satu explanation.
ya, walau aku cuma satu lembar dari thousand pages autobiografi kamu itu.
penting itu.
mana tahu page itu ada klimaks sendiri.
senang mahu tuntut royalti nanti.
explanation apa?
oh, sejak bila, siapa, kenapa hati sanggup laku.
itu saja.
aku peminat novel misteri.
kamu tahu itu.
jadi, please solve this.
coz, your story is not publish anyway.
tiada juga clue-clue yang kamu tinggal di siring jalan.
story kamu ini penting.
untuk sisih tanda tanya di kepala.
untuk bunuh hopes yang masih berbaki.
oh, did I just said hopes?
masih banyak-kah?
biarlah.
cerita aku sudah tamat.
mungkin lama sudah.
aku sahaja yang asyik membaca.
jadi, jangan lari.
cerita kamu belum tamat
at least sampai yang aku mahu tahu.
ya, aku bukan yang pertama dan terakhir.
aku sangka aku lebih lemah.
tapi, entah.
aku lagi bingung.
cubaan menulis drama swasta. susah juga sebenarnya.
tapi, macam sarcastic element itu lebih. i wonder who thought me. hmmm.
oh, untuk drama ini aku mahu cast lelaki yang boleh fake tears. no zed zaidi please.
layaknya kamu harus beri aku satu explanation.
ya, walau aku cuma satu lembar dari thousand pages autobiografi kamu itu.
penting itu.
mana tahu page itu ada klimaks sendiri.
senang mahu tuntut royalti nanti.
explanation apa?
oh, sejak bila, siapa, kenapa hati sanggup laku.
itu saja.
aku peminat novel misteri.
kamu tahu itu.
jadi, please solve this.
coz, your story is not publish anyway.
tiada juga clue-clue yang kamu tinggal di siring jalan.
story kamu ini penting.
untuk sisih tanda tanya di kepala.
untuk bunuh hopes yang masih berbaki.
oh, did I just said hopes?
masih banyak-kah?
biarlah.
cerita aku sudah tamat.
mungkin lama sudah.
aku sahaja yang asyik membaca.
jadi, jangan lari.
cerita kamu belum tamat
at least sampai yang aku mahu tahu.
ya, aku bukan yang pertama dan terakhir.
aku sangka aku lebih lemah.
tapi, entah.
aku lagi bingung.
cubaan menulis drama swasta. susah juga sebenarnya.
tapi, macam sarcastic element itu lebih. i wonder who thought me. hmmm.
oh, untuk drama ini aku mahu cast lelaki yang boleh fake tears. no zed zaidi please.
17.4.11
.stranger.
sungguh.
saat ini aku mengimpikan seorang stranger mampir lalu bertanya "bisa aku bawa lari kamu?"
maka jawabnya, "tempat paling jauh kamu bisa bawa aku."
sungguh.
saat ini aku mengimpikan seorang stranger mampir lalu bertanya "bisa aku bawa lari kamu?"
maka jawabnya, "tempat paling jauh kamu bisa bawa aku."
sungguh.
.jika.
biar. biar. biar.
hidup. mati. hidup. mati.
ulang lagi sampai luluh.
kalinya aku sudah imun. muak.
larinya cuma dikit.
mudah untuk kata jadi yang pertama. jadi yang terakhir.
real. belum terinjak langsung kata2 itu.
masih bayangnya belum ada.
hari. malam. hari. malam.
kitarnya masih sama.
tukarnya tetap ada.
cuma, bukan dari hati.
sangkanya ikhlas. luahnya kasar.
siangnya macam bulan.
ada tapi sembunyi.
malamnya macam matahari.
hilang dalam jelas.
benarnya ada pada dua waktu itu.
cumanya khidmat pada dunia lain.
yang satu pentingnya boleh mati.
yang kedua matinya cuma mainan.
masih ada.
boleh dicapai bila suka, bila susah.
lainnya boleh sisih.
kalau aku bisa tadah, sudah sempurna rumah airmata itu. sayang sendiri bodoh!
hidup. mati. hidup. mati.
ulang lagi sampai luluh.
kalinya aku sudah imun. muak.
larinya cuma dikit.
mudah untuk kata jadi yang pertama. jadi yang terakhir.
real. belum terinjak langsung kata2 itu.
masih bayangnya belum ada.
hari. malam. hari. malam.
kitarnya masih sama.
tukarnya tetap ada.
cuma, bukan dari hati.
sangkanya ikhlas. luahnya kasar.
siangnya macam bulan.
ada tapi sembunyi.
malamnya macam matahari.
hilang dalam jelas.
benarnya ada pada dua waktu itu.
cumanya khidmat pada dunia lain.
yang satu pentingnya boleh mati.
kalau aku bisa tadah, sudah sempurna rumah airmata itu. sayang sendiri bodoh!
15.4.11
14.4.11
.how to be silent.
why no visual?
coz, it is easier.
much easier. no questions. no answers. no lying. no angriness. no nothing.
thank you. decipher mode. works come first. priority, huh?
yeah, right.
coz, it is easier.
much easier. no questions. no answers. no lying. no angriness. no nothing.
thank you. decipher mode. works come first. priority, huh?
yeah, right.
13.4.11
.besi.
Al-Hadid (Fatin Hamama)
Ketika sepotong besi menjadi tombak
Besi tak pernah tahu
Untuk apa ia jadi tombak
Ketika sepotong besi menjadi pisau
Besi tak pernah tahu
Untuk apa ia jadi pisau
Ketika sepotong besi menjadi peniti
Besi tidak pernah tahu
Untuk apa ia jadi peniti
Kecuali suatu hari tombak dijadikan alat pembunuh
Dan bersarang di jantung kiri
Tombak mengeluh
Aku tak ingin jadi seperti ini
Demikian pisau
Ketika menemukan dirinya
Di leher sebagai penebas
Pisau mengaduh
Aku tak bercita-cita jadi pembunuh
Ketika besi-besi yang menjadi senjata berubah fungsi
Diam-diam peniti mensyukuri
"Aku menjadi penyemat baju seorang sufi, setiap hari aku dibawa
rukuk, sujud, dan mensyukuri nikmat Tuhan yang diberi
aku tidak ingin patah, biar berkarat aku kini."
you might want to be everything. you might want someone to be everything.
when the real life isn't like what you dream of. you get hurt. you down.
and then you hope for something. for everything you wish to come true.
you fight back and don't look back.
Ketika sepotong besi menjadi tombak
Besi tak pernah tahu
Untuk apa ia jadi tombak
Ketika sepotong besi menjadi pisau
Besi tak pernah tahu
Untuk apa ia jadi pisau
Ketika sepotong besi menjadi peniti
Besi tidak pernah tahu
Untuk apa ia jadi peniti
Kecuali suatu hari tombak dijadikan alat pembunuh
Dan bersarang di jantung kiri
Tombak mengeluh
Aku tak ingin jadi seperti ini
Demikian pisau
Ketika menemukan dirinya
Di leher sebagai penebas
Pisau mengaduh
Aku tak bercita-cita jadi pembunuh
Ketika besi-besi yang menjadi senjata berubah fungsi
Diam-diam peniti mensyukuri
"Aku menjadi penyemat baju seorang sufi, setiap hari aku dibawa
rukuk, sujud, dan mensyukuri nikmat Tuhan yang diberi
aku tidak ingin patah, biar berkarat aku kini."
you might want to be everything. you might want someone to be everything.
when the real life isn't like what you dream of. you get hurt. you down.
and then you hope for something. for everything you wish to come true.
you fight back and don't look back.
11.4.11
.viola.
trust. responsibility.
once violated, it's hard to get back on track.
tapi, kalau sebab tak munasabah, kau boleh terima kah?
kerja oh kerja.
once violated, it's hard to get back on track.
tapi, kalau sebab tak munasabah, kau boleh terima kah?
kerja oh kerja.
10.4.11
9.4.11
8.4.11
.tin kosong.
tiada rasa. tiada kata-kata.
amarah? tiada.
if i go the way you want, i can never treat you the way like before.
never.
kosong.
amarah? tiada.
if i go the way you want, i can never treat you the way like before.
never.
kosong.
7.4.11
4.4.11
.bones.
I have been watching "Bones" series from season 1 to 5 now. There is a character name Angela. She's beautiful, talented and genius. But, still can't beat Bones. Bones is super genius. Ok. Back to Angie. In season i-can't-remember-what-season, she revealed that she is lesbian. Her girlfriend, Roxy is a super hot artist. And, one day Roxy explained to her that she wants to move on. She want to think about her future, get married and have a family. Angela was heart broken. But, she accepted the fact that Roxy didn't want that relationship no more. At first, she doesn't understand why. Because, she believe and wanted to live by the moment, without thinking the future.
What struck me is, what really is "Live by the moment not future"? maksud berbeza-beza bukan untuk setiap orang?
think about it.
What struck me is, what really is "Live by the moment not future"? maksud berbeza-beza bukan untuk setiap orang?
think about it.
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